The World According to "Aaarrgh!"

I must admit, that when someone mentions Waco, the only positive thoughts that come to mind are Baylor (the home of tremendously attractive female students) and the Dr. Pepper museum (did you know that a Dr. Pepper used to be called a “Waco”?).  However, the best steak in the state of Texas is served at a roadside restaurant on the west side of the Elm Mott exit off I-35 (just north of Waco) called Heitmiller’s.  Since I hadn’t been to Waco since 2002, it had been a long time.  Even after four years, the quality is still excellent!  Heitmiller’s Family Steak house is still the best steak in Texas.  If you pass through Waco, stop in for a bite.

Last week, the clan had a double dose of one of the most frustrating things — Teenage Daughter Educational Procrastination Syndrome.  Yes, both teenage daughters, much to Dad’s chagrin, waited until the last minute to finish their big year-end projects, and underestimated the time required to finish them.  Heaven help me when the third one becomes a teenager!

Blonde Girl and Big Red are having boy troubles, and so we were talking about boys and what they are looking for in girls.  I told them that to a guy (at least the 98% percent of us who are decent and not worthless scoundrels), there are basically two types of girls — the type you have fun with and the type you want to marry.  The ”ones you have fun with” are the vain and flirty ones, the air heads, the ones who you spend your time with doing physical things.  The “ones you want to marry” are the ones that you want to spend hours and hours drinking coffee and engaging in deep philosophical conversations with at the local Denny’s.  The “girl you want to marry” is the person that a guy wants to share his deepest secrets and emotions with and wants to be with, even doing such boring things as laundry or cleaning or just lounging around and watching a good show on the telly, just to be a part of her life.

Blonde Girl was telling me that there is a “new” song that is popular with the band — (Jesus Christ) Superstar.  Of course, she was kind of shocked when I broke out into song– unlike the bandmates, I actually know the lyrics!  Blonde Girl forgot that I have the original 1970 studio recording (before the Broadway show) with Ian Gillen (of Deep Purple fame) as Jesus and Murray Head as Judas neatly shelved amongst the several hundred vinyl that I acquired while spending long hours perusing the inventories at Streetside, Peaches, and Vintage Vinyl.  She has also told me that my fedora that I wear to keep my bald head from burning is also “in”.  I am hip, and I wasn’t even trying!

What the hell has gotten into parents lately?  I see so many parents who try to act like teenages.  Guess what? From what Blonde Girl tells me, teenagers HATE that!  In fact, she says they laugh at parents who act immature.

If I were the child of some of these parents that I’ve seen, I would be horrified to be in public with them, and I sure wouldn’t be proud of them.  Who wants to have a mom with a tongue stud?   (We all know the purpose of tongue studs…)  Or a Mom with a bunch of tattoos?  Moms should look conservative and matronly, not like some cheap slut trying to get laid….

What about the Dad who is the drunken lush?  That is someone who I would want my friends to meet…

Part of being a parent means that you have RESPONSIBILITY.  When you are a parent, you don’t get to do whatever you want; you have to think about your children and how your actions will affect them.  Are you a parent that your kid is proud of or embarrassed of?

Teenagers like to complain that they are treated like babies, blah blah blah. Why is that? Well, if the blogs are any indication, then most teenagers are immature, spoiled brats. I mean, come on, some of the stuff these teenagers say is so whiny and ridiculous. And let’s not forget the nausiating cutesy language; real people in the adult world do not talk like that. How about these white boys in their fancy foreign cars who listen to rap and dress like gangstas. Come on, boys, it ain’t happenin’; you come from privilege, and you will never know what it is like to live on the other side of town. You can go home to safety every day. Stop pretending to be something you ain’t.

Seriously, though, if teenagers don’t want to be treated like babies, then they need to grow up and start acting responsibly. Dress appropriately; we don’t want to see cleavage, bellies, body hair, etc. The body piercing thing? It may be “cool”, but it is not a way to earn the respect of adults. Same thing with smoking and tattoos. And guys– get some jeans that fit, will you? No one wants to see your underwear.

Get the cell phone off of your ear. Unless it is your parents or someone is going to actually die unless you take the call, the call can wait. We don’t want to hear you or see you. Are you trying to impress us with your greatness and importance and status? All the previous generations of teenagers survived just fine without a cell phone, and you will too. Trust me.

Want to be treated like an adult? You have to earn it, by dressing/acting/writing/speaking responsibly, and not being overly silly and dramatic about things. If you are a teenager, you have over 3/4 of your life left, and trust me, over time as you get older you will realize that put into the proper context of life, things that seem like a crisis really aren’t, but are just a little blip.