The World According to "Aaarrgh!"

I was washing my youngest the other night, when for some reason I felt this creepy sensation.  Now let me say that for some reason, the ticks are really bad right now.  I walk out into the yard, and suddenly there are a zillion ticks crawling up my leg.  But I digress….
 
Anyway, I was washing my youngest the other night, and I started thinking about the movie “Stand By Me”.  Not just the movie, but a particular scene.  You know the one—the scene after Wil Wheaton walked through the pond and was checking for leaches.  Anyhow, for some strange reason, I felt the sudden urge to reenact that scene.  Like poor Wil, I found something that didn’t belong.  A tick.  On my….well, you know.
 
Needless to say, I was not very happy.  After all, that is off limits to all but a select group.  I didn’t take kindly to an interloper.  I immediately stopped what I was doing, ran down the stairs to the other bathroom, grabbed my tweezers and my alcohol, stripped off my clothes, and proceeded with a tickoctomy.
 
Now the problem with ticks is that where you find one, you usually find more in the same general locale.  When the ticks are down under, it is really hard to thoroughly check yourself.  After all, I am not a Ken doll and cannot bend into such positions.  Fortunately for me that night, that ticks friends were on my clothes, which were easily replaced.  Other nights I have not been so lucky.
 
Do you know how hard it is to remove a tick from your own rear-side?  I gave myself welts where I grabbed chunks of flesh instead of tick.  Not only can I not hardly see what’s on the dark side of the moon, but what I can see I can’t reach!  Oh bother!
 
When will winter get here?  Mister Jack Frost, sir, please come this year.  I am tired of being a tick playground!