The World According to "Aaarrgh!"

There is a woman that I’ve known for many years and care about, as I care about all of my intimate friends.  To my dismay, I suspected that she was having an affair with a married coworker, and, as it turns out, my suspicions were indeed correct.  But I digress…

Let me sidetrack here and tell you my thought on extracurricular activities.  If you are in a marriage, and you do not love your spouse but you feel you must stay married because of the children, then I can understand why you’d want to seek fulfillment outside of the marriage, as long you don’t embarrass your family.  The best way to go about doing this is to have an affair with someone else who is married, as the M.A.D. (Mutually Assured Destruction, the principal that kept us and the Soviets from ever using our nukes) principle applies to keep mouths shut, as each party has something big to lose.   When affairs go ruinous is when one of the two cardinal rules of successful affairs are violated– having an affair with a single person (because then M.A.D. doesn’t apply; what does the single person risk?) or having an affair with a coworker, especially one that has met your spouse, as workplaces are giant gossip mills and word will get out somehow, someway.  Now back to my story….

When I found out that my suspicions were indeed correct, I was not happy for several reasons.  First, because having an affair with a coworker is a huge no-no, as it impacts the ability to work and puts your job in jeopardy, especially if there is a spat or brake-up.  Second, because one of the parties was the supervisor over the other, and that seems to me to be an abuse of power.  Third, the woman chose to not come home and be with her kids in lieu of being with the other man, and given the young age of the children, dumped responsibility for the children onto the husband.

Having met the man involved, and not having a favorable first impression, I vehemently expressed my disapproval of the relationship, which caused a great deal of tension between myself and the woman.  She insisted to me that she was in love with him, he was a “good” man, and that he would get divorced and marry her, but that that would take time.  I was bewildered — how could he be a good man if he is cheating on his wife with a coworker?  I was hell-bent and determined to save her from herself, and set about to break them up.  I enlisted outside help from a woman I really didn’t know, but who also wanted to see them break up.  My woman friend became so distraught by this, that she gave her boyfriend my phone number, who proceeded to threaten me.  She just couldn’t understand why I thought he was such a jerk, because he was just trying to defend her honor.  Acting like a bully is not chivalrous; it’s being a hotheaded jerk!  I was so disgusted by his behavior that I’ve never been able to be around him without feeling revulsion.

Fast forward three years.  Different woman, exact same situation.  Different outcome.  The first woman, despite her intense anger with me for sticking my nose in her business, actually listened, started doing some digging, and discovered that her beau had another girlfriend on the side, and as far as I know, that was all she wrote.  She is still married, albeit unhappily, because that is the proper thing to do and she didn’t want to embarrass and humiliate her children by behaving badly.  The second woman did not listen to my exhortations, and got divorced, so she could be with her still married beau.  And, because he threatened me, I lost all respect for him like I did the first man, and will hold him in the contempt that he so much deserves like I do the first.

Since the Tulsa economy is still in the toilet, the number of furlough days needed to help close the budget gap has now risen from four to six.  That represents a 2.3% cut in pay for me.  Of course, I’d rather have 97.7% of my income than 0%, so I am not bellyaching.  And, I’ll now get six free days off, days that I won’t have to use precious vacation time to take.  I figure the six days will cost me about $2400 a year, but if you think about it, if you go on a six day vacation, you can easily blow that and much more! Trust me, it could be much much worse…..