The World According to "Aaarrgh!"

“The In-Law” was a frequent commentator on the blog.  He was my number one fan, or at least he said so.  The fact that he read the blog, and commented, meant a lot, as this was a person that had been a part of my life for 40 years.

I say was because The In-Law, my brother-in-law Jim Barhorst, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly this past Sunday, just shy of his 58th birthday.  Jim had been battling health problems for many years, most notably obesity and diabetes, and as he got older his health problems got worse.   He had a good and full life, got to see his son marry and have a child, but, in the end, his health got the better of him.

Around 5:30 PM this past Sunday, my mother called me and sounded very agitated.  She told me she had some news, and I immediately assumed that my father, who has been in declining health for the past year, had died, as she had the “someone died” tone in her voice.  I was shocked when she told me that it wasn’t my father who died, but my brother-in-law, Jim.

Jim has been part of my life since I was five years old.  When he was dating my sister, I always liked to hang around him.  He was a cool, and smart, older brother.  And, yes, I looked up to him as a role mode.

I got my Master’s Degree from the University of Tennessee.  Several years prior to me, Jim got his Master’s Degree from the University of Tennessee.  One afternoon, while doing research in the Thesis Room (the room where the keep all the completed theses and dissertations) at the university’s library, I took a break from the the research from my own thesis to hunt down Jim’s.  It was twice the size of mine, and I didn’t understand a lick of it.  The part of his thesis that stood out to me was its dedication – to my sister, Karen, and to their only son at that time, my nephew Tom.  I don’t know if either Karen or Tom ever knew that Jim had dedicated his thesis to them, but as a 22 year old graduated student who was engaged, I thought it was pretty cool.  So, following Jim’s lead, I dedicated my thesis to my fiancee, who later became my ex-wife.  (The idea just seemed so cool and romantic to me, but unfortunately I can’t take white out and replace her name with Victoria’s..drats!)

When I was dating Victoria and took her to meet the family for the first time, Jim jumped out the opportunity to inform her of all of my quirks and failures throughout the years.  He had downloaded and saved the rap song I recorded (it is still available online if anyone wants a copy!), and played it for sweet, innocent Victoria, as a kind of warning to her to flee before it was too late!  (Of course, she didn’t, and I love her for that!)

Tomorrow we travel to Saint Louis for the wake and the funeral.  This will be a huge funeral, as Jim had a lot of friends and family who will want to pay their last respects and say “good-bye”; Victoria, myself, and the girls, will be among them.  (Sadly, due to circumstances beyond my control, and just plain bad luck, the boys will not be able to go.)  As much as Jim could frustrate me, as much as he always wanted to argue just because he loved to argue, I will miss him, and the blog will miss him, too.  Jim was always my staunchest defender and biggest supporter, and I always appreciated that.

Rest in peace, dear brother.  You are with the Father now, and you have been relieved of your earthly burden.  Sometime, far in the future (I hope), we will meet again in paradise.