tfp29

                   TEENS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS
(Written under the psuedonym, "George Steinkrueger", and published 18 September 1996 in the Neighborhood Journal. Posted in toto with Preface and Epilogue 20 September 2001)

PREFACE -- Despite the protestations by fellow columnist Joe Starr to the contrary, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, “Arkansas’ Largest Newspaper”, was at the time (and still is) a conservative mouthpiece. Although most of the time the paper did a good job of masquerading its conservative leanings, occasionally the bias would shine as bright as the Morning Star.
     “Teachers” is a very dark movie starring Nick Nolte and JoBeth Williams about life in a typical urban high school.

        Recently, "Arkansas' Largest Newspaper" ran a series of articles on teacher-student relationships (with many being athletic coaches, a la "Teachers"). These articles were disturbing for two reasons: the topic and the bias.
       The basic assumptions of these articles were: in all cases, the teenager was an innocent waif coldly manipulated by a conniving adult; these relationships happen often, and most are swept under the rug. These assumptions are basically false and therefore the articles are misleading.
       However, not being one to make sweeping generalizations based on one opinion (mine), I decided to get other opinions on the matter. Through the magic of the American Online chat rooms, I talked to both adults and teenagers (including one who was involved in such a relationship) about the subject. I found these opinions to be both enlightening and surprising.
       The adults that I talked to were of a consensus that teenagers are intelligent enough to know better and therefore should shoulder some of the blame. They also said that the teachers involved should get psychiatric help, as it is not normal for an adult to want to have an affair with a teenager. One woman in her early 30s told me, "I just can't see how a woman could find a 15 year old boy attractive." (One of the cases profiled involved a 39 year old female teacher and her 15 year old male student.)
       The comments from the teenagers were especially interesting. When asked if they would have an affair with a 30 year old, all but one replied with comments such as "Yuck", "Gross", "Sick", and "No Way". This result contradicts the underlying assumption that this type of relationship is commonplace. Not only does it not seem to be common, it is also looked down upon by teens. The teenage girls I talked to told me that girls who sleep with older men are considered to be sluts. The consensus among these teens was that adults who have affairs with teenagers are "child molesters". In one instance, I was unable to ask follow-up questions, as the response was "Enough on this sick topic."
       Despite the general repulsion to the topic, the teens did indicate that they, like the adults, believe that teens are capable of making decisions regarding sex, and that the teen, as well as the adult, should be held accountable.
       The exception among the teens was a 19 year old female who told me she had had an affair with the man next door when she was 16 (he was 34) and with her basketball coach when she was 18 (he was 41). I asked her if the coach had been fired for the relationship. She said no, that she never told anyone, because she had wanted it and didn't want to get him in trouble.
       The articles crucified the teachers while pitying the teenagers. However, when a teenager runs away from home to meet someone at a hotel in a strange city, I find it really hard to believe that that action was manipulated. It took a lot of effort and thought by the teenager. However, this fact was glossed over. When you are trying to prove the point that these Arkansas Education Association (AEA) members are nothing but a bunch of pigs (AEA was mentioned prominently throughout), why bother letting facts get in the way? (Note to Joe Starr: Isn't it interesting how this bias has a conservative slant?)
       Based on the feedback I received, it is time that we as a society stop coddling our teenagers and make them accept the responsibility for their actions. Responsibility, after all, is a very effective restraint on behavior. When I was in high school, I knew a guy who wrecked three cars in one year. Every time he wrecked one, his father bought him a new one. So what lesson did he learn from his irresponsible behavior? None. He still had a car.
       Those I knew who paid for their cars drove very cautiously, as if they wrecked them, they would have to spend their money (and what teen has much?) to replace them.
       When I was 14, I took public transit (not a school bus) to school with the pimps and the pushers. (I turned out to be neither.) It was my, and only my, responsibility to make sure that I caught the right bus at the right time. If I was late, no excuses; I had to pay the price, and the threat of punishment was a really good motivator for me to make sure that I always caught the right bus at the right time.
       It is time to take a serious look at how we treat our teens. Responsible teens become responsible adults. Irresponsible teens become irresponsible adults. The choice is ours.

EPILOGUE -- As the oldest little Schrader rapidly closes in on teenager-hood, this column has taken on a little more personal importance.