“The Fine Print”, by M.H. Schrader

 

CERTIFICATES DO NOT A TEACHER MAKE

 

(Published in the Neighborhood Journal, 7 January 1997.  Posted in toto with preface and epilogue 31 May 2002.)

 

PREFACE -- After four issues of the Banner, I had decided that enough was enough.  I could not get anybody interested, so I pulled the plug, and went back to the Journal.  In the less than two months that I was gone, one of the Journal’s writers, writing under a pseudonym as I had been, offended a very powerful church in Beebe by commenting on how the teachers’ at the church’s school were not state certified and so therefore were doing the students a disservice.  The resulting column almost resulted in the premature death of the Journal.  As a result of the uproar, the Journal would no longer allow pseudonyms.  When I came back, I buried George Steinkrueger.

 

Although normally I agreed with Johnny Dollar, this column was one of the few in which I openly disagreed.  Johnny had spoken out in defense of “Shannon Fowler” and his critical article.  As someone who had taught and wanted to teach again, but couldn’t because of a lack of “credentials”, I found myself is the odd position of being in agreement with the ultra-reactionary Joe Starr, a very rare occurrence.

 

Little did I know it at the time, but this column marked the beginning of the longest continuous period of time in which my columns were published every week, January 1997 through April 1999.

 

For those of you new to this newspaper, at the beginning of November I wrote that I would no longer be writing a weekly column due to the lack of time.  In short, I had bitten off more than I could chew.

            First there was the infamous bathroom that I started working on in February.  The more I worked on it, the more plaster fell on my head.  But, that mountain has been climbed; the bathroom is finally, for all practical purposes, finished.  At least, finished enough that my wife will now allow guests to use the bathroom, which is good, as our two other bathrooms are not really visitor friendly.  One is about the size of a small broom closet; the other does not have a door.  (It’s off of a bedroom, so the bedroom door can be closed for privacy.)

            Second, there was my sudden involvement in neighborhood politics.  I found that I had been recruited to help the neighborhood in which I live.  That task too, has been completed, and it’s time for me to move on.

            Finally, and most importantly, was my knee surgery.  I slipped and fell on the mud back in September, resulting in torn cartilage in my right knee.  I had surgery in November, and frankly, I found that until the past week or so, I have been rather cantankerous and crabby and difficult to be around.  I’ve also felt perpetually fatigued, to boot.  But, thanks for asking, I am feeling much better, and can almost bend my knee enough to walk up and down stairs easily.  Almost.  Mobility is still a problem, but it is getting better with each physical therapy session I go to.

            I have been fortunate enough to have received copies of the Journal the past several months.  So, I am pretty much up to date with what has been happening.  In the space left, I would like to contribute my thoughts (for whatever they’re worth) on the Shannon Fowler situation.  I know, I know, it’s better to leave sleeping dogs lie; but, since it seems that even the man on the moon (yes, Virginia, there really is one!) and Johnny Dollar have commented, I would like to share my thoughts on the subject, too.

            (Let me sidetrack here just a minute.  Long time readers will note that I am now writing under a different name--my REAL name.  More on that in a later column.)

            It seems that nowadays we equate education with certificates.  A person is not considered to be educated without one.  A diploma is equated with intelligence.  So too, a teaching certificate somehow is supposed to be a designation of teaching ability.

            Some of the stupidest people I know have college degrees.  What?  How can that be?  Simple.  Although they may have book smarts, they don’t have a lick of common sense and don’t know how to apply theory to everyday life.  Okay, I must admit that I do have a college degree; but I will also admit that much of what I was taught in college I have never, ever used--and will never use-- in the real world.

            I suffered through four semesters of Calculus (or Calc-Useless, as it was lovingly referred to by all but the most deranged).  Know what?  I have never used it.  Never.  Know what else?  I knew some brilliant mathematical minds who didn’t even know how to compute a waitresses’ tip.  I guess their minds were cluttered with equations.  Does a college degree really indicate superior intelligence?  Let me put it this way--some of the “smartest” people I knew in college did not know how to change a spark plug.  Go figure.

            What is a degree, anyway?  A piece of paper that says you’ve accomplished something.  That’s it.  Nothing more, nothing less.  The same can be said for a teaching certificate.  A piece of paper.

            Why, then, do we crucify those teachers that do not have this piece of paper?  Should one believe that this piece of paper makes one a teacher?

            I believe that talents are given to us by Providence.  One of those talents is the talent to teach.  Lack of ownership of a piece of paper does not make one less talented.  Yet, throughout his recent controversial column, Shannon argues that such a lack of ownership does make one less talented as a teacher.

            Could you imagine the ramifications if such a perception had existed in the time of Christ?

            “We’re sorry, Jesus, but you can’t teach theology because you don’t have a degree and your teacher certification.  You’re not qualified.  What’s that?  You’re the Son of God?  It doesn’t matter; you’re not certified.”

            Sometimes the best teachers come from an unexpected background.  After all, wasn’t the best teacher humankind has known just a lowly carpenter?

 

EPILOGUE--It is interesting how I have come full circle in the past five years.  For a while, I had lost my way and had actually started to believe that a piece of paper did somehow make a difference.  However, the events of the past year have been a cold splash in the face.  I have seen intelligent people made to feel insignificant and worthless due to a lack of “credentials.”  No place has this been the most visible than at the law school, where students are willing to cannibalize other students just for the sake of one or two points on a final, and where “club” memberships are considered badges of superiority.  And the good ones slip away...

 

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